*Read the chat I had with Sofia above in order to understand why I am so pissed.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I am so pissed at myself. How could I put all my trust in these two guys? I fucking lost two people because of this shit. I should of listened to Sarah. I lost her and now I fucking lost Luke. I'm assuming that Zach won't need me much longer if he rather work with Sam, Neda and Sofia. I'm going to tell Sofia that Zach thought about putting her up week 3 of this game and would of been happy if she or Wil would be going home.
If Zach wasn't happy with Brian then why didn't he just make a side deal with the four of us? I am so fucking stupid. I am praying that Sofia and I can do some damage now. I am so fucking livid. Excuse my f-bombs.
Sofia told me all of this this morning and my stomach just dropped. Neda wants to get information from me here and there and asks me if I know anything new or new gossip in the house and I would never tell her anything unless it wasn't a big deal but hell now I won't tell her anything.
I'm not planning on telling Brian anything, that's just another thing to worry about is him worrying about that and me having to hear it. He would probably go to Zach or Sam and just blow everything anyway so for now I'm not going to say anything. I'm a fucking mess right now.
I'm going to put some faith in Sofia, because as far as I know, she is the only thing I have right now.
Last Edit: Nov 3, 2014 16:58:36 GMT -5 by Brittany
I cannot help but just feel paranoid at the moment. The vote was suppose to be 5-0 and my paranoia kicks in and thinks, what if someone voted for Luke to stay to make people think I was wanting to save him. Everyone in the house knows I was close to Luke but then again everyone knows that Sofia hates Brian.
Is it a bad thing to feel sad when people leave this house? Like I got really sad when Sarah left, I'm even worse now with Luke gone. I mean is it normal to feel like this in a game online? I feel like I was too nice and just clicked with everyone and now I'm sad the closer ones are being evicted.
I learn new things everyday by playing this ORG. I learn about new comps, strategies, twists, etc. I've been studying previous seasons of BB Rise and Fall for all the info since day one of playing in this house. I mainly go study season 4 and 6. That's how I know what to expect with HoH and PoV comps. Plus on my free time I like reading the DR's because I haven't read a book in ages and DR's are the closest thing to it without me falling asleep.
I have done the HoH comp for the week, I loved the video <3 I also realized that this is one of the hottest casts I have ever seen.
I knew that once Brian found out that he was DQ'd from the HoH that he was gonna go straight to me and just complain about it. How do I know? BECAUSE HE DOES IT EVERY WEEK, EVERY HOH AND POV! He really needs to chill and not complain to others and just vent in his DR. This is part of the reason why Brian gets on people's bad side in the house. He's cool and everything but that part of him just isn't going well for him.
Sam wins HoH and even though he is plotting shit behind my back, I still feel safe for another week. Zach ratted out Mike to Sam about Mike wanting to target Sam next so now Sam is gunning for Mike. Brian will probably be pawn again, maybe.
I still play cool with Zach and Sam, I tell them that I just love them so much and they are my faves and that I am sooooo happy to be aligned with them and that I am so proud of us. But what I really want to do is totally combust in front of them. I messaged Sofia and asked her if she has any ideas on how to survive the next couple of weeks. We probably can't do much but win comps to save our lives in this house. I want Neda to be on our side but from how Sofia is saying is that Neda is just all for listening to Zach's every command.
Next week's HoH is going to be a very important one to win. I have to be one step ahead of everyone else. I don't know how I'll manage to do that but I have to remain positive like I have been doing since the very beginning.
Last Edit: Oct 12, 2014 10:32:17 GMT -5 by Brittany
I'm going take the "huge social threat" as a compliment. Instead of worrying about me, he shouldworry about the people he's telling all this stuff too. I don't blame Mike though, I mean Zach and Sam got me good.
Meanwhile, Brian is fucking up his game by continuing to complain about him being a constant pawn and also his comp record. At this point I may be safe for another week if I don't win HoH next week but I'm not taking any chances.
I am convinced that Zach may throw this next HoH so he doesn't have to do any dirty work. If Neda wins, Brian and I are going up. Pretty sure about that.
If Sofia or I win next weeks HoH, things will explode.
Sofia was talking to me today. At the same time Neda was talking to her. Neda was telling Sofia that if Mike goes this week that she wants me out real soon, BEFORE BRIAN!
The reason? Because I'm sketchy and don't talk any game with her. Umm okay Neda. Neda has been trying to get info from me for a couple of weeks now, like I've said before in my DR's. I always circle around the question and pretty much not answer it lololol. So because she can't read me, she pretty much wants me gone. Or like Sofia put it; "So she's mad because you're not her little bitch and she cant control you lol."
I rather leave knowing I was threat than be a waste of space in this game. Zach winning veto possibly means that Zach will not use it. Which is fine with me. I feel like I need to go to confession after how much I've lied today.
I'm getting nervous for this upcoming HoH. Sofia and I need this soooo bad.
It's very hard playing these games at times due to ~feelings lol
lol
